The life of a mother.....

My feeble attempt at writing....

Water has always relaxed me. I take hot baths on a regular basis. Lately, I've had to share bath time with my 13 month old. Aside from the time he fell asleep nursing in the tub, this is not the relaxing event it once was.

I took advantage of his nap time today to take a leisurely soak in the tub. I sunk deep into the water and released the stress that had taken shelter deep in every muscle and bone in my body. Wonderful. Then I picked up my copy of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Despite reading it for my doula training I find great pleasure in reading it.

I read several birth stories. I found myself intrigued. Many times holding my breath until I completed each story. I read about women who became empowered through childbirth. I reflected on my own birthing experience. I felt a strong desire to research about The Farm. I longed to experience labor and birth euphoria once again. For various reasons, it will likely be two years before I have another birth story to write. This thought was more than a little discouraging.

With that, I drained the water and got out. Then I caught a glimpse of my body in the mirror. I noticed that my butt was looking pretty good. Then I saw the stretchmarks and my forever changed shape. There hung my breasts, sagging, yes, but completely capable of nourishing another person. Overall, I saw my body as strong, powerful, able to birth a child the way many women had in generations past. Yet, I also saw it's ability to lovingly grow a person.

It was then that I saw the softness in my belly that I had come to despise. I suppose, we women will always have some insecurity about our bodies. Yet, almost at the same time I realized that I had a year to mold my body back to a healthier state before asking another baby to join our family. So with that thought, I promptly did 40 crunches.

The life of a mother.....